[*Automated Podcast Transcript. Typos likely.]
Hey everybody. It’s Amber Desmond, your emotional awareness coach with emotional medicine coaching. So it’s been, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here and I’ve been really wanting to give back into podcasting more regularly. So my apologies for lagging behind today. I wanted to talk about something that I like to call being in your story and what do I mean when I say you’re in a story right now. So could example being in a story is, um, I don’t have enough money or good men are too hard to find or um, there are no good jobs or I never, I never do anything right or nothing ever works out for me or you know, a endless, different, endless, endless, different examples of what being in a story could mean. And ultimately, when I say you’re in a story, I never ever mean that your story is untrue, that you’re making it up, that it’s not valid, that it’s not something you are definitely experiencing.
It just means that we create our realities. We are storytellers by nature and we don’t recognize most of us that the power of the story we tell ourselves and other people repeatedly. I mean think about what is the story you tell the most. What do you find yourself saying most often? I know for me my story is definitely breaking the pattern of saying I don’t have enough money. And um, I don’t know how for sure is, is a big story. And also even my, my story of chronic pain, just like, Oh, I’m in pain, I’m in pain, I’m in pain. And sort of repeating that mantra over and over again and not recognizing the power that I have over my own life, including my own body, my own health, my own wellbeing. Uh, the, you know, opportunities to attract more abundance and prosperity into my life.
More wisdom and faith in myself to trust that I do know how and so on. And, and I hear this from clients. We just, some people are incredibly, incredibly attached to their story and that’s okay. There’s no shame or harm, no foul, no anything and being attached to your story. But when one is ready, ready to begin to unravel that stories hold on them to start saying, you know, I’m really ready to start telling a different story. And that can mean, you know, really practicing. It’s, it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight is something you’re gonna sort of fall back into. Cause think about it if you’ve told one particular story for 20 years. So you think just by saying something else for a couple of days that like automatically that’s just going to shift your entire life. A no, no. Sorry, I wish you, I wish, I wish it worked that way.
That would be really amazing and it would make things so much easier. But it means that we start practicing not only saying different things, not just externally saying them out loud, but internally shifting our dialogue, paying attention to what our mind is doing, where our thoughts going, what are our sort of immediate reactions and responses in our minds to certain situations that could be keeping our story alive within ourselves. And then, you know, what are we posting about? What are we talking to our friends about? What are we saying over and over again to our partner, to our children, to the people in our lives. So then that, you know, words have power and creation and think about the intention. And so if you pass on your story to others, then they can hold that version of you in their mind. And so the power of creating that story is then generated from all different people in your life and now would be internet.
You’ve got people all over the world who could think these things have you. So it’s really amazingly powerful. I feel like can be terrifying. It can be overwhelming. It could really be upsetting to people. Like, you know, we don’t want to be responsible. We don’t want to be responsible for our own lives. And let me again say there is no blame. It’s not like, Oh well you know, if you had trauma in your life, if you were abused, if you were hurt by someone that you know, Oh, you’re just telling a story about that. No, that is something that did happen. The story is when we create an identity around the trauma, when we become the trauma, when we perpetuate more and more reasons to stay connected to that past experience, and this is not something you do consciously and that you want to do or that you’re like, why on earth would I want to stay connected to the trauma?
And it’s not as easy as just telling a different story and of course not, but it is a part, a part of the healing journey is beginning to tell a different story about yourself. Now you can recognize and know what happened in the past and you can work with that, but you don’t have to stay in that version of the past. That part of you that was traumatized is staying active and alive through the re-traumatization of repetition and staying connected. Sometimes I feel personally that talk therapy is amazing. Absolutely, absolutely amazing and I am big in talk therapy but also sometimes going and living, reliving the past over and over again and just reiterating over and over again. What’s happened to us is great and it’s great to tell our story, to give it a voice and to speak those words out loud and to be heard and to be held and to be supported, and that’s absolutely powerful.
I mean, that’s where telling that story is important, but then when do we stop telling that story? When do we then feel like, okay, I’ve now spoken this story to its fullest capacity and now I’m ready to start moving forward, to start changing, to start telling a different story about my life. I’m ready to move on with who I am. I’m ready to tell a more empowered story about who I’m going to be for the rest of my life. If I continue to believe the stories I tell myself or that I have told myself about who I am and what’s possible for me, nothing that I’ve accomplished would have ever happened and it really requires me believing in things I can’t quite see yet. And taking those leaps of faith and really kind of stepping out into the dark and believing that I do have creative power and that I am a powerful creator in my life and that I can be in charge.
I can take the power back from these limiting stories. And also the reverse is true. Like if there’s a story you tell that’s really powerful for you, tell more of that story, give it even more energy and power. And it’s not just about, Oh, so I’m saying words. I think I was getting to that earlier. I’m not just saying words, but also feeling a feeling associated with those words, the feelings that come up when we talk about something unfortunate, something uncomfortable, something that hurts. Like we can literally start to feel, I’ve watched people’s body posture shift and change and they sort of slump a little bit more, or their voices kind of get different, or their facial expression changes. So you’re literally watching their story transform their physical body. And so think about that power right there. It’s like you’re literally becoming that story in front of my own, in front of my eyes as someone telling me that story, their story.
And that’s just been to really think about, think about the power that repeating something over and over can have on our lives and practicing shifting day by day by day. Like what is the new story? You could write it down, you know, creating a new dialogue. Sometimes just keeping a journal or recording things that you say. Like having more of like stream of consciousness thoughts and record yourself and see what words you use the most. What are you gravitating more towards? Are you complaining a lot? What do you mostly complaining about? What keeps coming up? Like what is the number one thing that you feel sort of jumps out at you when you start tracking these he’s thought experiences and these uh, you know, conversations you’re having is start paying attention. Like what am I saying? What am I sharing the most? What am I telling people over and over again about myself?
And is that, how can I, I struggle with this? Like, how can I have a great balance between feeling like I’m sharing my truth that’s in the moment without sort of generating more of that same truth in the future? Like how do I say? Like, this is how I’m feeling right now and not get locked into making that my set point. And it’s something that I feel sometimes I personally feel like I’m sharing a little bit about what’s going on with me and maybe something that’s troubling me, but I’m also adding in a sort of, we’ll say the kind of negative thing. And then I also add like, but these are the things I’m doing to change, to grow, to get better, to heal, to evolve, and I want to give more energy to those things. That sort of the story, the thing that I’m wanting to overcome, I make it the smaller aspects where I’m still feeling like I’m able to share my truth and I’m just like walking around, spouting rainbows out my ass.
You know, like yo, life is sunshine and rainbows. Like, we can’t, you know, that would feel really oppressive and oppressive is just to only speak positive, happy, sunshiny things. And that’s not what I’m saying. I’m not saying we can’t share our authentic truth, but also recognize that it’s okay to share, but also pay attention to how attached you are to stay here in that story. You know, it’s like how are you just sharing a passing experience? Or is that something that you’re finding yourself saying over and over and over and over and over again in your life? And is it serving you? How is it serving you? Is that story serving you? Is it helping? How is it helping? And if so, that’s great. And if not, like how can I shift this? How can I create a story that is more uplifting or more in alignment with the version of myself that I want to become? Not the version of myself that I have been. And so these are all concepts based in, you know, law of attraction and spirituality and even psychology and recognizing the creative power of words, thoughts and feelings, and the power of storytelling and how we can indeed create our own reality. Thank you everyone. Have a great week.